


Beiða (v., to request on one’s own behalf)

by illwynd



Category: Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Cultural Differences, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Past Sif/Thor - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, past Heimdall/Thor, trickster shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 05:33:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15503409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illwynd/pseuds/illwynd
Summary: When Thor visits Thrym's court in Jotunheim, the trickster Loki amuses himself by deceiving Thor into marriage. But Thor is stubborn, and Loki may not get exactly what he wanted.





	Beiða (v., to request on one’s own behalf)

**Author's Note:**

> This too came from the trope mashup tumblr meme. Gorgeousgalatea asked for accidentally married + the missus and the ex. Yes, this one is very silly.

It was already more fun than Loki had been expecting. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed it, but he had put himself in the right place at the right moment, showing up to Thrym’s court when he heard a delegation of Æsir were visiting and sidling his way out onto the floor when their prince, the thunder god, was already a bit tipsy.

Loki had heard tales of him, all the tales as big as the man himself. Tales of a prince forever eager and ready for battle and for food and drink and for lust. He sounded like just the sort of target Loki favored, the sort who could be enjoyable to deceive, to infuriate, to see where it would go.

So he offered the man a little red fruit, papery petals still curled around its base, its skin shining and waxy, its flesh ripe and plump with nectar and warm from Loki’s hand.

“It’s a Jotun delicacy,” he said, smiling. “Will you accept it from me, O great Thunderer?”

The fool had taken it, and he had tasted it, and, being pleased with the flavor, he had consumed the entire thing.

Only then had others around them begun to notice what had happened, and the murmurs began. Not long after, the murmurs turned to thunder when someone, hesitantly, informed the Ás what that fruit signified among the Jotnar. What it meant to consume it.

“It is to seal negotiations and arrangements,” one of Thrym’s courtiers—bowing and stammering all the while—told Thor, whose countenance darkened like the clouds above.

“What do you mean? Speak plainly!”

“Um.” The Jotun cleared his throat. “Marriages, specifically. No one would eat of the beiða fruit given by one he or she did not wish to wed.”

Thor looked stunned. “Well, I did not know of this! I made no agreement. I spoke no vow!”

The courtier cringed but did not back down. “I’m afraid no words are needed. It is binding on its own. It would be a great insult to our traditions to deny it.”

Loki spoke up, then, from his position where he had hidden himself behind several larger giants. “Though if you wish to divorce, that is permissible—I’ll accept the usual fee of half your house for this stain upon my honor.”

Thor’s expression grew darker still. “Your  _honor_? You deceitful Jotun worm, I will tear your—”

The growls and hisses of the other giants all around brought the Ás to his senses, though.

There was then some consultation between the thunder god and his companions, and Loki did his best to eavesdrop on their whispers.

“… at least it is a comely giant that tricked you thus! Perhaps if you give him a chance, you will enjoy it,” said one voice.

“Nay, our Thor is hardly one for settling into wedded bliss,” said another. “He would not be tied to one partner, no matter how comely.”

“Who speaks of settling or tying? Many are wedded who—”

“If you have no insight into how I am to escape this, then be silent!”

Their whispering fell quiet then, but it hardly mattered; Loki had heard enough to grin in anticipation.

*

They had barely gotten back to Asgard before Loki realized that the man he’d married was not only a rover but also a spoiled brat of a prince, used to having everyone wrapped around his finger and getting exactly his own way.

“Good Heimdall!” Thor cried as soon as they stood upon the bridge. “Wisest and most far-seeing of the gods! Certainly you watched over my travels in Jotunheim and already know my predicament. I would beg any advice you might have for me.”

He stood close to the older man as he said it, and batted his eyelashes at him.

But Heimdall, stern-faced, golden-eyed, glanced between his prince and his prince’s new spouse.

“I greet you, Loki of Jotunheim. Odin All-father has been told of your arrival, and preparations have been made to welcome you to your new home.”

Thor stared open-mouthed at the gatekeeper. “But… Heimdall!”

“I greet you as well, my prince.”

Loki snickered as they made their way down the length of the bridge. “I begin to suspect you were not entirely chaste before we met. Was he a former love of yours?”

Thor’s cheeks colored. “Not… not quite. I wished it so, in my youth, and he took me once to his bed, but he was more wedded to his duty. I thought anyhow that he favored me, secretly. I thought he would assist me now.”

“If he’s as wise as you think he is, perhaps he sees not to interfere with a good thing,” Loki answered.

Thor scoffed. “There must be some way! My father will surely—”

“Please tell me you have not lain with your father as well.”

“No!” Thor shuddered. “But he has Jotun blood and has traveled much in your land. He knows its customs and its laws. He will have some means to release me from a vow I did not intend to make.”

“You’re going to tell your father what a mess you’ve gotten yourself in?”

Thor blanched for a moment but rallied. “It is the mess  _you_  got me in. And you have not yet explained yourself, Jotun! Was it for the reward you sought to win, or did you do it merely to make sport of me?”

“My reasons are my own,” Loki smirked, and he waited till Thor was about to turn away in disgust, then added, “Wife.”

“I am not your wife, Jotun!”

“The fruit in your belly says otherwise.”

Thor’s eyes narrowed. “You cannot be serious.”

Loki laughed and laughed.

*

After they arrived, there were a few hours left before nightfall. A few hours, after Loki was presented with the preparations that the gatekeeper had spoken of. A pile of riches—as one might gift to a newlywed, true, but with horses and a wain on which to carry it all.

Loki had poked at the carved wood boxes filled with gems and silver or with jars of rare spices or other, obscurer substances, and he had smirked and looked over his shoulder.

“Your father thinks I’ll take what I can get and flee with it, I gather,” he said.

When Loki had plucked the fruit and taken it to Thrym’s court, he could not have dreamed of such a prize as what was laid out at his feet in that moment. But now that he was here, in Asgard, he had little desire to let the game end. He had little desire to be seen to be so  _cheap_. And it was much more enjoyable, anyhow, to see the Thunderer’s brow grow stormy again at all of Loki’s taunts.

So now he shrugged and looked over the pile with more of a critical eye. “Which means he has no other way of getting you out of this.”

So, instead of doing what was expected of him, Loki demanded in those hours to hear more about Asgard. To hear about Thor’s life, his past.

Thor grumbled in response. “I hardly see why you would care, Jotun.”

“Why should I not?” Loki answered, enjoying the thunder god’s pouting. “You already wedded me. You will just have to get used to my ways, and I wish to know yours as well.”

Thor told him little, though he was not quite rude enough to refuse to answer direct questions, and Loki used that fact to his advantage to get to know his bride. And to amuse himself quite well with his petulant resistance until the sun lowered in the sky.

*

That night there was a banquet, for the prince’s return.

“And his wedding,” Loki reminded Thor, on his arm as he was led to the feast hall.

“I will yet see that undone,” Thor grumbled. “Don’t become too comfortable here, Jotun.”

And, seemingly meaning to ensure Loki’s discomfort, Thor seated him next to a fierce-looking warrior maid who even wore her armor to the table.

“Ah, and how do you know the thunder god, my lady…?”

“Sif,” she said, fixing Loki with a glower. “Thor and I have been dearest friends since we were children, and there is nothing I would not do out of loyalty to him.”

But Loki was unfazed, and he licked his lips before leaning nearer. “Dearest friends? Then perhaps you would be the one to tell me how best to please him.”

Sif frowned. “What?”

“Does he like a good fingering while being sucked, or no?”

When her fair cheeks reddened and her furious glare flustered, Loki knew he had hit the mark.

“So you do know him  _very_  well indeed! Your prince is quite free with himself, I have noticed.”

“There is nothing wrong with that,” Sif snarled. “In Asgard we see no shame in love or affection, so long as all consent. Although from what I have heard, it is somewhat different in Jotunheim!”

Loki was pleased with how well and how quickly she had recovered the fire in her eyes. “Nay, no different. It is quite important that everyone enter into agreements of their own free will.”

“How was it of his own free will when you deceived him?”

“He was free to have asked any questions he liked, and he was free to refuse my offer, but he did neither,” Loki shrugged, in the face of Sif’s seething. “And calm yourself, anyhow. I certainly have not forced him into any acts of affection.”

The warrior maid made no reply, though she breathed heavily and looked away from him, down across the tables and the fire-lit room.

“I wonder if there are any such acts he has not already tried, actually. You wouldn’t happen to know, would you?”

The uncomfortable silence on Loki’s other side was the sound of the thunder god, returned no doubt from begging his father for some means of reprieve, and evidently receiving none.

“Jotun, what trouble having you been causing? What things has he been saying, Sif?” Thor asked.

“No matter. He has only been speaking nonsense,” Sif replied, lips pressing together in annoyance.

“I was asking her what you most enjoy in bed,” Loki answered at the same moment, slyly. “You’ve granted your favor to half the people of your land, it seems, though, so if your friend will not tell, why, I’m sure I can merely ask around.”

Loki kept his eyes on Thor as Sif growled behind him.

“Thor, may I kill him for you?”

It was gratifying to see the shock in the thunder god’s expression, the sudden look of conflicted guilt.

He really was quite attractive, the young, brattish sweetness of his face and the pout to his mouth. Loki could imagine tangling hands in his golden hair to pull him by it. He could imagine those guileless blue eyes filled with tears of pleasure. He wondered how many others had gotten to see it. He found himself envying them.

Loki watched as Thor shook his head, meeting his friend’s eyes over Loki’s shoulder.

“No, Sif, I cannot let you, no matter that I might wish it. My father has told me he will not risk war with Jotunheim over this, and he says there is no lie in what I was told. By Jotun law I made a vow, no matter how unwitting.”

“Are we sure the Jotnar would mind it if this one did not return?” Sif asked.

Loki was not truly worried, and he did not turn or flinch but only gazed back at his spouse, taking in the emotions flitting across his face. The thunder god reining in his temper because he had been told he must. The prince used to giving and receiving affection wholly unconstrained, now recoiling from Loki’s insinuations, hearing Sif’s threat and responding only with a worried frown, mouth twisting in distaste.

The truth was that Loki had done it on a whim. It had not really been the promise of wealth to be extorted from the gods but more the desire to sow chaos and make trouble, simply because he could, and perhaps because he was bored. And now it was still more than that, for Loki vowed to himself that he would have the gift that Thor seemed to give to others so readily. Loki would win it for himself as well.

*

And that night, Thor led Loki to his chambers, which—Thor reluctantly admitted—they were to share, at least until he found some way to escape this union.

Loki watched as Thor retreated behind a barrier to change from his fine tunic and trousers into a lighter linen nightshirt, and he watched as Thor lay down on the far reaches of the massive bed, turning his back.

“Am I truly so repugnant?” Loki asked, unable to stop himself.

Thor’s head turned, briefly. “Do you expect me to answer that?”

“Yes, in fact. When we were still in Jotunheim, your companions called me comely. And I find you good to look on as well.”

There was a brief silence. “It is not the  _look_  of you that bothers me. You are a trickster and a deceiver and you meant to make a fool of me.”

Loki couldn’t very well deny any of that. He tilted his head. “Still… I haven’t done anything _else_ so terrible, have I? Are you not curious what it would be like to lie with a giant? Would it not be pleasant to find out, since we are in this predicament together, regardless of whose fault that is?”

That time, Thor rolled over entirely and propped himself on an elbow. His eyes narrowed in the room’s dim golden glow.

“I do not lie with those who care nothing for me. I do not lie with those who mean me harm.”

“I don’t mean to harm you,” Loki protested.

“I have seen nothing but ill intent and mockery from you thus far, Jotun. Forgive me if I do not believe your claim.”

“What can I do to prove it to you?”

“I can think of nothing,” Thor shrugged.

Loki paced before the bed. He racked his brain, but nothing swiftly occurred to him, and after some time Thor shook his head with a sigh and turned away again, evidently having ceased to believe Loki might provide some answer.

Loki could not endure that, panic blooming and swelling inside him.

After only a few more moments he heard himself speaking as if from afar. “What if… what if I promised to release you from your vow? If you do not wish to be married to me, we will consider it undone. Would that prove to you my good intention?”

Thor's eyes glinted in the gloom as he gave a wan smile. “There is no one here to witness it. Why should I trust your word?”

*

Thus it was that sometime past midnight, only a day after Thor was accidentally wedded to a Jotun, a small group of scribes and notaries from the All-father’s court gathered in the thunder god’s bedchamber to hear that Jotun proclaim their marriage null and void.

Loki was almost certain, by their familiarity with that place, that at least one or two had also shared Thor’s bed at some point or another, but he shrugged the thought aside.

And no sooner had Loki actually said the words than he realized what he’d done.

A hot wash of dreadful understanding flushed through him, from his face to his toes, as the scribes finished their notations and gave a nod. Closed their books and turned to go and retreated through the door with the soft rhythm of many feet.

“You will wish me now to leave as well, won’t you,” Loki said, arms tensed at his sides, bitter and angry at having been deceived. At having fallen into a trap unseen. It was one thing to work a few lighthearted tricks on others—quite another to have his own hopes dashed! And especially to learn, too late, how much he had been looking forward to the prospect. How intrigued he had grown in only a few hours.

“Why would I?” said Thor.

“Because we are no longer married. I no longer have any claim here. You have deceived me into hastily releasing you from your vows, and you made no promise not to simply send me away after I had done so. And why would you not? You have made no secret of despising and wanting to be rid of me.”

Loki heard the soft sound of Thor’s laughter. “No wonder you rely on trickery, so trusting you are.”

Loki could not help but bristle even more at that.

Thor was still in his nightshirt, though he had wrapped a robe around it for a while. Loki was still dressed as he had been. And Thor came over to him, placed hands upon his shoulders. “I would not send you away at once because I have never before lain with a giant and it might be pleasant to try, now that I can choose it freely. And because you are quite comely, and clever as well, though I dislike the aims you put your cleverness to. Perhaps between us we can find new ones.”

Thor undressed him then and kissed him, with the skill of one who has had many lovers, and led him to the bed, smiling, and even before they reached it, Loki felt himself wrapped around Thor’s finger and willing to grant him his own way, whatever he might desire.

And the taste of him, when Loki knelt before him to take the slick, shiny, ruddy tip into his mouth and eagerly suck… the taste of him was like nectar on Loki’s tongue.

**Author's Note:**

> I stole the fruit from the Minbari, in case you were wondering.


End file.
